i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
