he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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