I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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