I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
