how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
