i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
