So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
