did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
