i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
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Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
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Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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