btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
