I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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