was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
