You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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