No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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