either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
