You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
