in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
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at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
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So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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