DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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