I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize