I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize