If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
