Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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