I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
