I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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