my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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