So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
