It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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