You just made me feel so damn special
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
