yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
