I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
