Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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