Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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