I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
