47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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