No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.