they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Is it because I queefed?
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And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
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When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize