Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes (586): I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition http://tfl.nu/j099
  Replies (7) Good night (1624) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof... http://tfl.nu/xn7m
  Replies (26) Good night (3392) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction" http://tfl.nu/s1bm
  Replies (16) Good night (783) Bad night (4876)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality http://tfl.nu/65cw
  Replies (44) Good night (7553) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me. http://tfl.nu/5jau
  Replies (18) Good night (4649) Bad night (1233)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready' http://tfl.nu/8jmk
  Replies (17) Good night (3746) Bad night (1603)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club http://tfl.nu/ln6l
  Replies (10) Good night (3516) Bad night (1287)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college? http://tfl.nu/er5p
  Replies (19) Good night (4080) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this... http://tfl.nu/un0n
  Replies (20) Good night (6483) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant. http://tfl.nu/hs4h
  Replies (22) Good night (4441) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally. http://tfl.nu/lbqp
  Replies (1) Good night (581) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND. http://tfl.nu/votz
  Replies (1) Good night (783) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation. http://tfl.nu/22zx
  Replies (5) Good night (290) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt. http://tfl.nu/iloo
  Replies (1) Good night (537) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor. http://tfl.nu/ygxz
  Replies (5) Good night (791) Bad night (242)

Randomize