I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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