well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
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i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
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Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize