ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
