I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
