So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
