great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
