if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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