my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
