even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
