There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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