Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
