JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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