I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
