I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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