and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
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Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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