I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize