Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
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