I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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