I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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