So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
