Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
