Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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