So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
